Cauliflower Mashed Potatoes or Caulipots

• 2 russet potatoes, cut into 3/4″ inch pieces (about 1 1/2 lbs)
• 1/2 head  cauliflower
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 to 4 tablespoons vegetable broth
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• Several pinches of freshly ground black pepper

Place the potatoes in a 4-quart pot in enough cold water to submerge them, making sure there are about 4 inches of extra water on top for when you add the cauliflower. Bring the potatoes to a boil. Once boiling, add the cauliflower and lower the heat to a simmer. Let simmer for about 15 minutes, until the potatoes and cauliflower are tender.

Drain them in a colander, return to the pot, and use a potato masher to mash them a bit. Add the olive oil, 2 tablespoons of broth, and the salt and pepper , and mash a bit more. Use a fork to make sure all the seasonings are mixed well. If needed, add another 2 tablespoons of broth. Taste for salt. Serve warm.

Recipe taken from Appetite for Reduction by Isa Chandra Moskowitz (page 54)

White and brown foods just do not photograph to their most appetizing potential. Cauliflower looks like brains, russet potatoes look like turds, or rocks, or rocky turds. However, this combo turns out deliciously in… Cauliflower Mashed Pototoes or Caulipots. (Henceforth this recipe shall be refered to as “caulipots” as it is cuter!)

My great grandma’s old metal potato masher still does the job toot-sweet! Plus, who doesn’t want a little Great Grandma magic in their starches?

Look at how scrumptious those Caulipot cuties look! Let’s make them an edible bowl device for…

Veggie Pot Pie Stew

• 1 teaspoon olive oil
• 1 small onion, cut into medium dice
• 1/2 pound cremini mushrooms, sliced
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 1/2 teaspoons dried sage
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• Several pinches of freshly ground black pepper
• 1/2 cup yellow split peas
• 3 cups vegetable broth
• 1 1/2 pounds russet potatoes, peeled and cut into 3/4-inch chunks
• 1/2 pound carrots, peeled and cut into 1/2-inch chunks
• 2 heaping tablespoons fresh thyme
• 1 cup water
• 1/4 cup all purpose flour
• 3/4 cup frozen peas

Preheat a 4-quart pot over medium-high heat. Saute the onions in the oil until translucent, about 4 minutes. Add the mushrooms, garlic, sage, salt and black pepper and saute for 3 more minutes, until the mushrooms have released their moisture.

Add the split peas and vegetable broth, cover the pot, and bring to a boil. Let boil for about 5 minutes, then add the potatoes and carrots. Lower the heat to a simmer and cook for 25 to 30 more minutes, or until the split peas are tender and the potatoes and carrots are cooked. Stir the stew occasionally to make sure it doesn’t burn or stick to the bottom.

In a measuring cup, mix the flour into the water to dissolve into a slurry. Add the thyme, slurry and frozen peas to the pan. Cook, uncovered, for about 10 more minutes, stirring often. The stew should thicken and become more and more delicious.

Taste for salt and seasoning. Serve garnished with more fresh thyme.

Recipe taken from Appetite for Reduction by Isa Chandra Moskowitz  (pages 251-252)

My Shameful Cheats: Substituted baby bella for cremini mushrooms. Used dried thyme in place of fresh. Harvested a split pea cup-of-soup for the split peas and ditched the flavor powder. Added several cloves extra garlic and added extra peas.

What smells better than onions and garlic cooking? I always add extra garlic as I am highly attractive to vampires. And I love it when my hands smell like garlic.

Baby bellas make a good substitute if you are unable to procure cremini mushrooms.

Root veggie dream – potatoes and carrots! This could easily be the basis for every meal I ever loved.

Time to make the slurry! Slurry in a hurry!

Dinner is served! This is a high class version of “failure pile in a sadness bowl”.